Ontario Vanity Licence Plates Totally for Tory Voters!

Brian Tue, 2019-04-23 18:55
"Yours? No way, loser" "MAGA North" "Yours for Buckabeer" "Social Services? Socialism!" "Disabled? Yer on yer Own!" "Books R 4 Bonfires" "Art--Goes with Furniture" "Environment Schmenvironment"

Ontario is modernizing its tired, old "Yours to Discover" licence plate slogan. To the kind of citizen who'd vote for Doug Ford as Premier, it's a bit too, well, goody two-shoes. Tory voters want Ford to kick our arses, we nasty, selfish consumers of "free stuff" preventing everyone from having lower taxes. Apparently, "Open for Business" is more like it.

I've suggested that they might want to consider cashing in on a possible craze for even more pointed slogans, vanity plates that Tory voters might just be prepared to pay for. The announcement:

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Launching a new series of vanity Ontario licence plates, designed especially for Tory voters, Ford Nation and all! Put your pride on your bumper, tell the world you won't take it any more. Only $75 (until you get your bank statement, where you find out we've nicked you another $100 without telling you). But $75—it's a promise!!!

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And for the kind of working-person Tory voter who thinks electing someone who's the son of a rich guy, and who never had to worry about a thing in his life (except lowering his tax bill, of course), will help the "little guy," the plate below. Only $150. We promise!

Rear plate only.



Kick me!